Watch your tone, young lady. That's a phrase I heard a lot growing up! I am sure most of you heard it growing up also. Maybe you've even used it with your own children or children that you are around. Regardless, at some point we have said it or heard it.
Why do we say that phrase? Watch your tone. What is tone? Why does it matter so much? There are multiple definitions for the word tone. It can pertain to music, voice, color, atmosphere, phonetics, language, muscles, and photography. That's a lot of subjects to cover! So we won't 😆 Really I just want to talk about voice and atmosphere. Typically when we hear or say "watch your tone" that's what we are referring to anyways.
There is no specific definition for "tone of voice." But I was so surprised to see there are dozens of videos on how to change your tone of voice. How to speak differently. How to speak for business meetings, or to get friends, or to become popular on social media, or to get your business growing or how to interact with co workers. There are tons of video how-tos and articles on the subject. This alone tells me how much we value tone of voice in our society!
Have you ever asked anyone a question but didn't like the way they answered it so you just went and asked someone else the same question to see if you would get a better response!? I know I have. I might be writing that out of silliness but in reality we are usually looking for a certain tone of voice and reaction from people right? We want to get the reaction we want.
"It's not what you say it's how you say it." How many times have I said this to my children?!?!!? But it is true. There are many times that my kids say something that isn't necessarily wrong. But they still get in trouble because of the tone. And then I have the same convo I have had over a dozen times about respect and kindness and using the proper tone.
As adults, we are even more prone to using the wrong tone of voice aren't we? We are thrust into way more situations, daily, that we need to react to and communicate well in. Otherwise, why could we find dozens of videos on the proper tones to use on youtube. Every time we speak, people hear so much more than just the words we say. They hear how we say them. So whenever we open our mouths to speak, we have an opportunity to encourage and give hope through our words and tone, or we have the ability to tear down and cause despair. In my bible study, Women of Valor, they speak directly of how we impact those around us with our tone.
I know I have had my feelings hurt when someone is harsh with their tone. This happened recently actually. They were going through something and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Verbally, we can hurt or lift up. Sometimes we do it intentionally and others times we are completely thoughtless and careless. Either way we need to be more mindful and realize the effect that not just our words have but also the tone in which we say them as well!
I can say welcome home to my hubby like an exhausted robot or an enthusiastic wife. I can tell my kids dinner is ready in a thank-God-that's-done tone or an I-prepared-this-just-for-you tone. I can help my friends with accountability out of judgement or out of pure love. I can greet a stranger with an empty hello or a genuine how ya doing. I can thank the cashier with a plain ya you too or joyful I appreciate you.
We have dozens of opportunities throughout the week to encourage and give hope, or to tear down and cause despair. We have that power all with our words and the tone in which we say them. How can we change someone's moment? How can we be the light that Jesus wants us to be? It can be as simple as changing our tone.
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