I'm A Suitcase

She laughs without fear.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

She laughs without fear of the future.

I just happened to grab this coffee cup for my morning wake up brew but obviously God meant it as a reminder to me. It hit me as I set it down and actually took the time to read it. I'm in a season of life where I laugh without fear of the future.

Don't get me wrong. That does not mean we don't have ups and downs. It doesn't mean my kids don't get sick, or we aren't late to things or I don't get stressed out at the grocery store with all them buzzing around me.

Just this morning, right after I took this picture of my lovely reminder, I realized I set the cup down in a puddle of syrup! Our school table has become the breakfast, lunch, and dinner table, the school table, the craft table, my office table and the everything in between table while we downsize 😂

So let me be very clear when I say laughing without fear does not mean life is easy. I was blessed by this revelation that God gave me this morning though. No season of my life has felt this way. No season have I felt peace that has passed all understanding. I've had moments of peace. I've even had days of peace. But a whole season of peace? Not until now.

I've walked through very dark times and I know that God has been with me. Looking back over my life I know that I have felt His peace along the way. I know He has rescued me when I didn't even realize it was Him. I am not blind to the fact that I am alive today because of His invisible hand protecting me.

I mentioned in an earlier post that our Season of Rest has brought us into a season of peace. God is beginning to reveal what that truly means between Him and me. I am still sitting here as I write and really truly trying to wrap my head around what it means to laugh without fear of the future.

In my past, I made choices that altered the path God had for me. Natural consequences of those sins left scars on me, my family, friends, people I don't even know. That's a lot of burdens and baggage to carry around. I have lived with regrets for as long as I can remember. Some of them are small and some of them are literally life changing, for me and other people. I can not take them back but I have asked for forgiveness and yet I was still carrying them with me.

For Thanksgiving we went on a vacation to Florida. It was incredible! While I was packing up the kids' suitcases they asked me why I left extra space in them. They said there is so much room for more toys! I asked them what if we find cool stuff in Florida we want to bring home? Should we leave room to bring it home just incase? Of course that was sufficient and off they went to play.

God, on the other hand, knew this could be used to teach me. If I am constantly filling myself (I'm the suitcase) up with things like regrets, disappointments, what ifs and fears, do I have room for anything else? Not really. What happens after I have asked forgiveness and started working through healing? What takes the place of those feelings and thoughts?

God revealed to me that I don't need to immediately replace them with something else. Healing is not about replacing or "fixing" everything inside. I can simply leave room, leave any empty place in me and wait for God to fill it. Every negative thing I leave out of my life is room for something else.

She laughs without out fear of the future.

It doesn't mean our life will ever be perfect. It doesn't mean I will ever have it all figured out. Today it means that it is okay if my suitcase isn't filled to the brim! I am not sitting on it to zip it up, ya know what I mean! We've all been there 😂

So when I think about tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, I am not thinking about what I have room for. I am not thinking about how I am going to hurry up and fill it because God is going to fill my suitcase with what He wants in His timing.

I hope this encourages you as it did me. Remember that God longs to be part of our lives and we only have to provide Him the empty space and He will fill it with what we need. He desires for us to laugh without fear of the future!